For every music professional who has decided to get sober, there are dozens who think they should but may not know how. We asked sober artists, producers and others in the music industry for advice on how to take that first, brave step toward sobriety.
Here is what they had to say in their own words:
Charles Kelley, country artist, member of Lady A
“I think the most important thing is to be honest with yourself. A lot of people say to me, ‘Man, I should do that.’ The most important thing is not to wait until something really terrible happens to push you into that decision.
Also look at what you get out of it. What do you really get out of it and does it make you as happy as it perhaps used to be? I used to associate so much joy and excitement with it, but that excitement is somehow fading.
Name me one artist who has ever chosen alcohol over their family or career who would look back and say, “That was the best decision I ever made. I’m glad I kept drinking and ruined my family and my career.” None of them would say that.
And also the fear of wondering if people will treat you differently: nobody cares. People are much more focused on the drink they have in their hand than the drink you don’t have in your hand.”
Background story: “Finding out who I really am”: Lady A singer Charles Kelley celebrates one year of abstinence
Morgan Wade, country artist
“You really have to sit down and ask yourself, ‘Why do I want to do this?’ I think you have to have a why and a reason for it. It could be as simple as, ‘Hey, I want to be healthier’ or ‘I want to be a better partner’ or ‘I want to succeed at this or that.’ But I think you have to have a concrete reason and make it something that really matters to you, otherwise you won’t stick with it.
And then I think it’s also important to find someone to talk to. There are so many resources these days. Go online and Google AA online meetings. You don’t even have to talk. You can just listen. It’s a community. I think it’s very important to find someone who is sober or offers support and has that support group. Someone you can say, ‘Hey man, I’m really tempted right now.’ Because I mean, it’s hard to go through this shit alone.”
Ned Cameron (Writer/Producer)
“I went to a 12-step self-help meeting high and drunk. I got a chip I didn’t deserve and left. But just by sitting there, some seeds were planted. And then a few months later, I went to another meeting high and drunk. But I kept going, doing the next right thing over and over again, completely imperfectly.
And honestly, I didn’t really believe that I could get sober or that I deserved to be sober or that I was even someone who could be helped. But I just put one foot in front of the other and just showed up. And it worked.
And at some point the pain of staying will be greater than the fear of change.”
Scott Strode, Founder and CEO of The Phoenix
“One thing you can do is just be more open with people you feel comfortable around. Just saying, ‘I’m struggling a little bit and I’m really trying not to drink or do drugs for the next few days or on this tour,’ can be a big help.
The Phoenix is free and all you have to do is be sober for 48 hours. We have events all over the country, so you can download our app, The Phoenix, The Sober Community, and come to an event in Phoenix.”
Walker Hayes, country artist
“There’s no greater joy for me than a call from someone who has a soft heart and just says, ‘Man, why did you get sober?’ And I just notice that they’re curious. They say, ‘I’m on drugs. This is a problem,’ and they want to save face and talk about it.
Even though it’s a problem in the world of country music and Nashville, you have options. You have resources. You are surrounded by camaraderie that would love to join you on your journey.
An AA meeting is a brilliant choice. It’s full of men and women, children, from all walks of life, looking at each other and saying, “I need you. I need to stop drinking.” And that’s just the most profound statement you can ever make in your life. If you’re an addict, all you have to do is say it out loud, look in the mirror and say, “I need to stop drinking and be OK.”
Melonee Hurt covers music and the music business for The Tennessean, part of the USA TODAY NETWORK – Tennessee. You can reach Melonee at [email protected]on X @HurtMelonee or Instagram at @MelHurtWrites.
This article originally appeared in the Nashville Tennessean: Walker Hayes: “An AA meeting is a brilliant decision.” We look at steps to abstinence
