We all want to protect our children, including online. Today, children as young as seven are using social media, but monitoring their activity and blocking access to certain websites and apps does little to protect them.
According to a study, 22% of children admit to seeing something online that they don’t want their parents to know about. And alongside inappropriate content, online bullying is also common. However, reports show that 38% of parents are unaware of the risks of online bullying associated with social media sites and one in five parents don’t bother with parental controls.
Keeping up with the kids
Over half (52%) of UK parents believe their child is more digitally literate than they are, and 55% express concerns about this. Research from Avast, a global leader in digital security, also found that 46% of parents would like more education and advice from cybersecurity and online privacy providers, and 39% would like more user-friendly privacy products and apps.
Morganna McCabe Allan lives in Fife with her husband Duncan and their two children. She tells us how she tries to keep her children safe online.
As parents, Duncan and I have always been mindful of how our children Jamie (now 11), Robbie (9) and Meribelle (5) use the internet and wanted to make sure they were all safe online. Last Christmas, we agreed that Jamie and Robbie were old enough to have their own computer, which was in the living room where we could keep an eye on them.
Since I run an online business from home and Duncan is a stay-at-home dad, we always kept an eye on them when they were on the internet, insisting that they didn’t add friends to their games that they didn’t know in real life, setting limits on certain apps and websites, and controlling how long they were online.
(Photo credit: Morgana McCabe Allan)
Since they have been online, they have changed – they suddenly worry about their appearance and argue more often
At first everything went well and we constantly reviewed our safety measures and asked ourselves, “Are we doing enough?” But then, in the summer, we noticed a change in the children’s behavior. The boys had become belligerent and were constantly getting into fights. They were moody, disruptive and seemed unhappy. Then we noticed an increasing anxiety about their appearance.
We didn’t know what was going on, but eventually found out that one of Jamie’s friends was bullying him and Robbie online, saying nasty things about the boys’ red hair and allergies. The reason my boys fought every day was because Robbie wanted to stand up to the bully, but Jamie was afraid it would only make things worse and encourage others to bully them online as well.
Duncan and I were horrified. We sat down with the boys and explained that someone who bullies them online is not a real friend, and talked about other concerns, such as online influencers. We said we noticed they had changed since they were online. They suddenly started worrying about their appearance and were arguing more often. Although a lot of this was due to the bullying, it was also probably due to the pressure of social media – which promotes a “perfect” life.
We all agreed that it would be best to take their computers away from them for the time being, and they were relieved to put their security back in our hands. Once we took them offline, we saw them slowly return to their old selves.
The moment we took them offline, we saw them slowly return to their old selves.
Duncan and I know they will need to get back online in the future and we are happy to keep them safe, but we are focused on helping them develop their emotions and communication skills and teaching them safe people and behaviors.
We’ve worked hard to find the best parental controls, but they’re not enough. As parents, we need to teach our children how to look after themselves online, but it’s time for real change in internet regulation because that’s the only way we can keep our children safe.
Morgan McCabe Allan is a business mentor. For more information visit their website.
Competent advice
Anne Cutler is a cybersecurity evangelist at Keeper Security and a global communications expert.
Anne told us:
Children can be a prime target for cybercriminals due to a lack of knowledge and experience with online threats such as phishing scams and social engineering. A password manager can help children stay safe while browsing the internet by generating and storing strong, unique passwords for their accounts that are not easily compromised.
Children should learn to watch out for phishing scams and spot suspicious links that contain hyphens or special characters and could contain malware or take them to a website where their login information can be stolen. Parents should also know that online safety is not a one-time issue. They should strive to maintain an open dialogue that encourages their children to ask questions and discuss any concerns they have about online safety.
For more advice, check out our advice on keeping your children safe on social media, as well as how to reduce screen time – and how too much screen time can affect a child’s development.
This post was originally published in July 2024 in Woman’s Own, also owned by Future Publishing.
