Cats actually have nine lives, but apparently no one told that to a mischievous black cat named Pluto. Poor Pluto, who was mauled by a careless driver one rainy night, finds himself in the afterlife. There, after a comical misunderstanding over some broken statues, he is ordered to clean the cat’s purr bed for all eternity – cat jokes abound in this review. Still, it’s not all bad, as this neat plot setup sends Pluto on a charming video game adventure that is a delight from start to finish.
Played from a top-down perspective, Crypt Custodian blends the aesthetics of old school Zelda and its sword-fighting gameplay with the labyrinthine structure of a modern Metroidvania. Pluto searches for the afterlife, makes nice friends, solves ingeniously devious puzzles, discovers satisfyingly secret paths, and beats up a few brutal bosses to boot. The narrative that accompanies Pluto’s adventures is loose and genuinely humorous. If someone tried to squeeze in cat jokes, they might even describe the dialogue as “hissy.” Sorry, I’m just a kitten.
Visually, Crypt Custodian is simple but brimming with charm. With just a few frames of animation, Pluto has more charisma than many AAA protagonists. The world he explores is equally captivating; you can see fish swimming in deep blue water, mist shimmering over moonlit swamps, and caves glittering with unearthly light. The fact that the entire game was put together by just one guy is frankly mind-boggling. Kyle Thompson must be up very early in the morning to make games this good.
Looking at Crypt Custodian, you might think that the quirky imagery and lightweight storytelling would lead to limp combat, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Pluto is a real broom-blower, so much so that he would make a samurai pizza cat green with envy. When you beat up an opponent, you get cat-like good. Each blow has a cathartic effect, providing a real sense of collision as the unsuspecting villain is sent flying. At the same time, with the agility of a, So, Cat. In short, the combat is fast, exciting and responsive, especially when the screen fills with enemies to take out.
This is undoubtedly a challenging game. And since there’s no easy mode, it’s not necessarily easy to access either. But if you like your games tricky, Crypt Custodian never gets frustrating thanks to some extremely clever design decisions. Take the enemy attack indicators, which clearly show when and where a cute demon glass thing is about to attack. You just have to react accordingly. Soon you’ll be analyzing the risks of a room full of baddies, assessing each impending attack in time to dodge, plan your way through the melee, and follow up with a really good broom swing.
The same goes for the brilliant platforming, which is perhaps the best example of jump artistry I’ve ever seen in a top-down game. Jumps from a bird’s eye view can be tricky, as the player often doesn’t know whether they’ll land safely or not. Kyle’s elegant solution to this conundrum is the cat’s whiskers. A simple symbol lurks on the screen around Pluto’s underpaws. When it’s white, you know you’re about to land on solid ground. When it turns red, you know you’re about to plummet to your death. With a generous dose of mid-air control, the player can then confidently correct their landing. This balance of precision and control has allowed Kyle to really ramp up the platforming intensity, creating some thrilling scenes that will test your skills to the limit, but never your patience.
Crypt Custodian is appropriately large-scale, with huge areas to explore and then explore again with your newfound skills. Yet the world is so packed with creatures to encounter and secrets to uncover that the vast environment feels alive. That’s more than can be said for poor Pluto with only one life. But if the afterlife is so much fun, maybe nine lives are overrated?
