Performance is a tricky word.
It means different things to different people. Our culture celebrates men who successfully wield power, while often not showing the same favor to women, especially in the corporate hierarchy. And since almost everyone has experienced both the positive and negative aspects of power in others and in themselves, the word itself can evoke an instinctive reaction.
So when I opened Take back your powerthe new book by Deborah Liu, a Silicon Valley tech executive and current CEO of Ancestry, I had my guard up to defend myself against what I thought was another self-help and empowerment book for women.
She immediately disarmed me.
The power to change the world
“Power is not a dirty word,” Liu says, defining power as positive influence and impact – essential for women who want to live lives that matter.
Liu helps the reader understand why women often feel rejected in the workplace, regardless of their role and responsibilities. Her own experience as an “individual” – the only woman, the only minority, or both – gives a voice to those who have persevered and climbed the corporate ladder in male-dominated fields. She advises women to change the way they engage on the playing field, not try to change the playing field.
Chapter by chapter, Liu invites the reader to participate in a process of discovery and growth that ultimately leads back to the original premise: women must reclaim their power—not because it has been taken away from us, but because in our daily interactions, most of us unwittingly give up our God-given ability to positively influence others and bring about change.
According to Liu, this book is not a diatribe on the hopeless injustice of women in the workplace.
It is more of a book about hope. I agree with that.
The “10 new rules for women in professional life”
Take back your power sets out ten “rules” to help women learn how to win on an uneven playing field. In fact, these rules serve more as practical measures for development and opportunity creation than as rules for winning a game.
In the context of these rules, Liu presents details of current cultural prejudices. Research confirms that in many work environments, there is a double standard between men and women. Is the system fair? No. Is this the reality that women live with? Yes.
Lui then maneuvers readers through obstacles and barriers such as imposter syndrome, working as the “only one” on a team, and allowing yourself to step away from difficult situations that could serve as catalysts for new opportunities. She talks about the importance of male and female allies and sponsors, learning forgiveness in broken relationships, and how to create balance between home and work.
Throughout the journey, Liu provides a statistical foundation upon which to build conclusions and strategies and find practical ways to chart a new course. And in each chapter, she lifts the curtain on highly relatable stories from her own experience growing up to please her father and later working at PayPal, eBay and Facebook.
She also shares powerful transformation stories of other influential women who have overcome extreme challenges to make a difference in business and the world. These stories show how our heartbreaking setbacks often become irreplaceable launching pads for our greatest successes.
At the peak of the Take back your power Liu concludes: “Life presents us with different opportunities, challenges and talents. This book is a guide to making the most of what we have been given. We can view our experiences and setbacks as obstacles or turn them into impetus that takes us further than we expected.”
What I learned from Take back your power
As I turned the last page, I flipped through the chapters again and was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed the book and how many practical insights I had discovered. I could relate to Liu’s desire to make her father proud by pursuing business success and achievement. One real-life example after another inspired me to look at my challenges from a new perspective.
And I have acquired new phrases that help me to remember every day:
- Take control of your story.
- Don’t let your defeat define you.
- You have the power to redefine success.
- Find your voice and use it strategically.
- Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
Two missing factors
Although Take back your power provided readers with relatable and actionable content, but two areas in particular seemed to lack development and I wish Liu had explained them in more detail.
First, in the chapter on creating balance at home, Liu focuses on married women, the imperative need for career support from the spouse, and how to develop that support if it is not currently present. She provides good information from her own experience with a husband who believes in an egalitarian marriage.
While she did include a “note” about unbalanced partnerships and single parents, these practical strategies pale in comparison to other sections. Since most of the aspiring women I know are single, divorced, or don’t have a spouse who supports their careers as much as they would like, this “rule” might leave some women feeling rejected or defeated – just as they often feel at work.
Second, although the book is probably written for “the masses,” I still would have liked a more faith-based approach to some of Liu’s content.
She briefly mentions her role in faith-based workplace groups and shares a few anecdotes about her Christian faith. She also tells at least one story of a Christian woman who has had a tremendous impact in the workplace and in the world.
But in her many examples of women making their mark, the reader finds very few expressions of faith. For example, Liu quotes this mantra from Katia Verresen, the Tech Exec Whisperer trainer: “We can’t control everything that happens to us, but we are born creators and can create possibilities out of anything.” Whether Verresen is a professing Christian or not, Liu could have planted a seed of faith by adding a comment like this: “As women, we are all made in the image of God who creates, and so we too are essentially creators in life and work.”
Who should read this? Take back your power?
Regardless of these two areas, Liu could have developed further, Take back your power exceeded my expectations and I wholeheartedly recommend it to women from all cultures.
Liu has undoubtedly put her words into action in an impressive, non-linear career trajectory – learning from loss and growing from challenges. Her willingness to share her experiences and the wisdom she has gained along the way is truly a gift to women at all stages of their careers.
Who is this book for?
- Anyone who grew up believing they were competing on equal terms with their male counterparts and then found out they were “just a girl.”
- Any person who feels the need to rebel against a world where they are less likely to achieve the same things as a man.
- Women who want the playing field to become more equal again.
- Parents and teachers of girls.
The book is also suitable for lunch discussions, mentor/mentee conversations, and employee resource group and community group studies.
Finally, it should be noted that although Liu wrote this book specifically for women, Take back your power could serve as a valuable resource for any male mentor, sponsor, and ally at work and at home who wants to advocate for the women around him.
