From cartoon characters to true revelations, hot Illuminati“Sarah Tudzin values vulnerability. And she’s not afraid to speak out about it. Check out our latest Dork Mixtape cover.
Words: Steven Loftin.
Photos: Shervin Lainez.
Musical mastermind Sarah Tuzdin needs little introduction, having been recording zippy punk under the alias Illuminati Hotties for just over seven years. But on POWER, her forthcoming fourth album, she introduces herself to the world for the first time. It hasn’t been an easy road to get to this point. Over the past few years, Sarah has found herself in a recurring theme of liminal situations, from a rock-bottom state prior to the release of her second album (her then-label Tiny Engines was accused of unscrupulous financial behavior, prompting a boycott, and instead one of Illuminati Hotties’ most popular—if unintentional—records, Free IH, fulfilled its contractual obligations) to today’s wait for the release of her new album, where this newly unfurled version of herself can be free.
It’s all been a process of evolution. So far, Illuminati Hotties has allowed Sarah to process a lot of things without facing them head-on. “When I started this project, it was a little bit more character representation,” she explains. “I guess on all three albums, there’s a cartoon character of me talking about real things from a distance, to be vulnerable or in a way where I can still cover it up with cleverness.” This time, as she puts it, “the way I wrote the songs was a little bit closer to my truth as a person, as opposed to the girl hiding behind Illuminati Hotties.”
Looking back on the process now, Sarah is incredibly excited about it. “It’s a great starting point for writing,” she says. “I think I also like writing from a fictional perspective and a kind of punk surrealism. But this record will hopefully open us up to a wider audience, because I think to include more people you have to reveal a bit more.”
Deciding to face things head-on this time was a learning process. Sarah admits that it was “a little scarier to face things head-on, simply because the topics became scarier.” Previously, she had avoided certain topics, particularly when talking to herself, including the death of her mother a few years ago. “I had just been avoiding my inner dialogue for a long time,” Sarah says. “So I got into the habit of writing every day to trick myself… (and) at a certain point, I couldn’t ignore my inner feelings anymore, even though I was trying to say a million other things or think of other things to say.”
There was an initial reluctance. Having to actively talk herself into writing such obvious lyrics created a grey area. “I’m the first to say you can’t let the truth get in the way of good art,” she laughs. “If you have to falsify the details to make the art better, then that’s the point of art. That being said, there’s this thread of truth that, as much as I tried to avoid it, crept in as I was finishing the lyrics and spitting out concepts.”
This is reflected in the sound of “POWER”. Being so self-focused is undoubtedly easier when there is a cacophony acting as a shield between you and the other listeners. Sarah confirms this: “It’s so much easier to deal with insecurity when there’s a confident element in the music and it doesn’t really feel obscured by it. But it feels a little less crazy to engage with it,” she explains. “My favorite songwriters of all time are stereotypically sad people. But what they do best, and the reason their music works so well, is that they have a sense of humor and it’s not just about seriously unloading trauma or anything like that. They deal with real emotions and are able to throw in a few details that make us feel more human and don’t make us feel like an emotion is being hammered over our heads.”
“To let more people get close to you, you have to reveal a little more”
Sarah Tuzdin
One element that struck Sarah about the current musical climate was the volume – or lack thereof. During the early stages of POWER, Sarah was digging into the back pages of the 2000s, including The Shins and their twee bombast. “I feel like music is really afraid of being loud, but there was an era of indie rock that wasn’t afraid to be very loud even in its quietest moments,” she explains. “These songs feel like quiet songs, but the recordings and how they were played at a festival with tens of thousands of people… Like, ‘New Shin’ is going off! And that’s because it’s fucking loud.”
The sultry Illuminati songs aim to be the opposite of the current trend toward softly sung, intimate, quiet pop. “I completely respect that, but I go for volume, even in moments of vulnerability,” she clarifies. That moment comes pretty quickly. POWER’s second track, “I Would Like, Still Love You,” delicately describes various scenes (each one worse than the last) in which Sarah would still love an unnamed recipient, until the sugary chorus cascades a wave of sweet guitar layers into a wall of sound sticky enough to jump up and do your best Spiderman impression.
POWER also features Cavetown, the two-time Dork cover star, on “Didn’t.” Recalling the song’s creation, Sarah mentions that the track “lived in an unfinished space, like it had been in song purgatory for a very long time.” While working on it, she eventually decided it needed a feature. She reached out to Cavetown, who happened to be in LA at the time, and that coincidence allowed the track to blossom. “He had such beautiful harmony ideas and wrote this verse, which is incredible and fits the mood perfectly.”
Sarah is used to collaborating with others and has worked as a sound engineer and producer on various projects over the years. With Boygenius, Slowdive, Weyes Blood, Pom Pom Squad and Porches on her resume, she is able to execute a vision of creative independence. With all of this, it is more than obvious that music is a pure love for Sarah. “The reason I make music is because music spoke to me from a young age and I felt connected to records that I loved or that caught my eye and so it became the natural avenue of expression for me,” she explains.
If she feels a deep connection to music, she hopes people find the same in Illuminati Hotties. It’s that thought that drives her – breaking through another space, this time between creation and connection. “When I see a show that connects me or when I hear an album that inspires me, that’s all the more reason to keep making music,” she says. “I’m constantly trying to discover new music and things that inspire me to make more music. It has a huge impact on the way I create when I see bands that I love or hear new stuff that speaks to me.”
Breaking down all of those liminal spaces has given Sarah moments of enjoying who she is and who she can be. It’s all about bringing things back home, back to Sarah Tudzin. She’s realized that her art would ultimately fulfill her even if she was just writing for herself, but there’s that extra element, that hook that draws any artist in. “There’s so much more in me that is fulfilled by real connections, and reaching out to people in the hope that they feel like they’re hearing themselves and being part of a cool club or something,” she laughs. “That they’re part of a music movement by listening to my band or whatever other music they love.”
It has occurred to her that maybe illuminati hotties doesn’t have to be a full-fledged touring band, as Sarah notes: “There are a lot of musicians I admire who have never set foot in front of people and are just happy to be forgotten, which in a way I do.” But when it comes to reintroducing yourself to the world, there’s no better place than that spiritual liminal zone where the world stops for a few hours and everyone exists in a moment at a performance. “Not as an artist, but as a human being, I feel a little uncomfortable being noticed. But when it’s time to go on stage, it’s like I slip into a superhuman version of myself. The most extroverted, outgoing version of myself is validated by it and feels like I’m sharing an experience with people who understand.” ■
The Illuminati Hotties’ album “POWER” is out now. Follow Dork Mixtape on Spotify here.
