Divination with telepathy
Scientists show telepathic nerve implants can keep mice in check. No big deal! Mr Musk’s implants can keep the entire human race in one long, giant line waiting for the rare refresher called chargers – if you can find one, that is. (Rimshot)
Robot taxis
Since I’m a sociable person, I tell robot taxis to curse themselves like robots! I’d rather take a crab, I mean a taxi, any day of the week, provided the bill is fair and please, save on the talk. (laughs)
Queer across America
HHere is Trump’s great, masterful message that he is sending queer across America: Make America honest again! (a little louder please)
Here is a classic
Would you like to attend a JD Vance Rally? Only married couples with children welcome. Oh crap, no cats! (please laugh, even the Republicans, a little louder)
Oh, and did you read what former U.S. Secretary of Labor Robert Reich posted? Reich said Musk circulated a fake version of Kamala’s first campaign video with an altered voice track that sounded like Harris saying she “doesn’t know the first thing about how to run the country” and is the “ultimate diversity hire.” Knowing how liberal left Reich is, I doubt he’s much of a Muscovite. (haha)
Planet Politics
Back to politics: Wouldn’t it be refreshing if politicians focused on something called “problems” instead of name-calling and dumping solid waste in smelly campaign ads? How novel would that be? (Yay!)
And now my promise
I swear loyalty to the magazine, the like-nificent seven. They put food in our bellies, but it’s like playing gin rummy, although I’m hardly Stu Unger, I’m just a guy satisfying his hunger. (louder, please)
Let’s awaken the motivation
Nothing motivates us in the morning like the urge to urinate. And then, after flossing, brushing and gargling, that other rash we spit out! Now don’t be so ungrateful! (laughs!)
And now The closer for you bulldozers
JOYAnd now Governor Tim Walz comes in with a new campaign song, a contemporary version of Waltzing Matilda:
Once a funny Master Sergeant camped at a billabong
In the shade of a Coolibah tree
Now a governor is giving a speech and waiting for my Billy to be cooked
You Democrats are coming with Kamala and me.
Oh, and a footnote
To the wise words of Anne Frank, who once said: “In the long run, the sharpest weapon is a kind and gentle spirit,” I would like to add a pinch of humor from the perspective of a standing pigeon.
The end (ha ha)
Yes, Madden tries his best to be a comedian and entertain his readers with scenes like the ones he describes in his first book. SPIN-MANwhen he was vice president of NBC and before that he was dodging pallbearers at ABC. His sixth book Planetary Lifeguard takes a more serious tone when it comes to denouncing climate change. When he is not writing books and Madden nonsense Blogs, he runs his PR company TransMedia Group along with his imaginative daughter Adrienne Mazzone, who has a hilarious sense of humor, alongside her father’s Smidgeon as a standing pigeon.
